Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
