sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
