Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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