cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
