I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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