Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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