Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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