btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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