yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
