my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
