Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize