the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There are leaves in my underwear?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
