I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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