Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
