Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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