What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
