She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
