Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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