Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The air taste purple.
Randomize