As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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