I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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