white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
