And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
