I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My life is pants optional.
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