Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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