i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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