After last night, I could never be a politician.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
