Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
