I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
