Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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