They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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