once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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