I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
