you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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