sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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