he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
