I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
