he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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