Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's always time for handjobs
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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