we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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