College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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