I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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