and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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