Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
