I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you told grandpa to call you daddy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
