just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
