HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
