trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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