I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
