This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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