physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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