at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You are the jesus of drinking
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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