It's Friday. Sex?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
