If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
