I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
