we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
