Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize