my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
