Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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