Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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