what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
