Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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