By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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