i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
