The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
