Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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