the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize