Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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