I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize