Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
