I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
