I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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