i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
