2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
